We Run Deeper
by SoullessQuill
Summary: Novalie Kansten isn't capable of love, right? She has never thought anything of it, having never felt anything of the sort. But for her and her soulmate of four years, none other than Levi Ackerman, their connection starts to run deeper, awakening something neither of them ever anticipated. [OC, Rated T for: Language, Violence, Adult themes]
1. Chapter 1 - Four Years and Running

**(HAHA, HERE IS ME TRYING TO KEEP THIS RATED "T" AND I REALISE A UNIVERSAL UNDERSTANDING WAS T-RATED AND CONTAINED A LOT MORE THAN "MINOR COARSE LANGUAGE" XD)**

 **Hai y'all! So if you have just stumbled across this story, I am gonna tell you one thing. It is actually a sequel to another story I wrote: A Universal Understanding. I STRONGLY recommend you read that one first to get to grips with my OC and their relationship with Levi. I am going to pretty much introduce their feelings for one another straight away, since if you have read the original story, you will know that they have been "just friends" for 51 chapters!**

 **I have never really written romance, especially between two unromantic virgins that have never been in a relationship! :/ BUT, I will do my very best for you, and I am going to aim to do three things:**

\- **Not shy away from the sexual side of romance (I am not going to include lemons, it will be more about the feelings, I am keeping it as T rated as possible)**

\- **Make it realistic, which in these two's case, would be quite awkward XD**

\- **Stay as true to the characters as possible**

 **I apologise for this massive monologue of mine btw, but I need to put this out there.**

 **Here is a few things Isayama has said about Levi and romance:**

\- **If he had a crush on someone, he would be a stuttering mess around them**

\- **He is a virgin**

\- **He is the most sexually frustrated character in SnK**

\- **Having a relationship with Levi wouldn't be much different to not having one with him since he'd kinda just leave you alone XD (NOT WITH ME AROUND FELLA)**

 **Sooo, with that, ENJOY. (ALSO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING, I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH THIS OR WRITING THIS, BEAR WITH ME. CRITICISM WELCOMED!)**

 **PROLOGUE:**

 **NOVALIE**

I stared at my reflection. It had changed a lot. My scar still ran deep on my cheek, and my figure was still slim and curve-less – I doubt that would change. My face was slightly older, but less weary, and my ash blonde hair now almost ran down to my elbows when it was down.

I had gotten fitter over these two years, since I had more time on my hands, and still trained when I could for the heck of it. I guess the rhythmic mindlessness of exercise, the burning pain, the release of heavy breaths and sweat and serotonin, it was almost addictive. Mesmerising.

The right sleeve of my jacket hung limp and shapeless over my shoulder. People seemed constantly in awe of how I did things with one arm. It was a bit of an art, I must say.

When I first came back to the Scouts after losing it, I got a lot of attention. I got more than my fair share of glares in the corridors, and "how did you escape the gallows?!". I didn't blame anyone who resented me, they had all attended my trial, they knew what monstrous things I had done. Those who didn't hate me, however, either pitied me because I couldn't go on expeditions, asked me why I was even still IN the Scouts, or, the most covert but popular question, "what is it with you and the Captain?". I was patient with most people, although I noticed a lot less people approached me when I was with Levi, which was most of the time. _Can't imagine why…_

 **LEVI**

I stared at my reflection, into the scowl that I always wore. It was not as intense as it used to be. My posture was less rigid. I was less… Pent up, I think. I had one person that I could open up to. That fact alone relaxed me somewhat. Erwin told me I had "softened", which pissed me off. It made me sound WEAK. He assured me it was a compliment, because apparently I was way too uptight before.

Although, according to everyone else, I am still uptight.

Whatever.

 **Chapter 1 – Four Years and Running**

 _TWO YEARS LATER_

 **LEVI**

I traced the rim of my cup with my forefinger, absent-mindedly listening to Armin and Eren's dull conversation. Novalie came into my head like a light being switched on, and I pushed the thought away. _Can't you think about ANYTHING ELSE? You see her all day every day._

As if on cue, the bolt on the door lifted, and she came in. I trained my gaze on her, and she scanned the room, locking eyes with me. She fell into the chair beside me, resting her elbow on the table.

'Hello Levi,' she said courteously.

'Hi...' I mumbled. I realised I was staring, and cut it out.

'You OK?' Her analytical gaze swept over my face.

I nodded.

Her resting face was so composed, her mouth in a thin line, her eyes piercing as if she could see right into your soul. (To be honest, she can). She rarely smiled. It took a lot to evoke any kind of emotion from her. It took even more to break her spirit, but once it was gone, it got scary.

It was uncomfortably humid in the room, since it was the middle of summer. Novalie wasn't wearing her jacket, and was past her button-up shirt days. She said it was too fiddly with one arm. Instead, she wore a plain white tank top over her harness, which showed the defined ridge of her collarbone along the line of her shoulders. Heat crept up the back of my neck, and I gave in to the summer heat, shrugging off my jacket and slinging it over the back of my chair. Novalie had gone oddly quiet, and my periphery told me she was looking at me. Her expression had changed. She reached for my arm, and I kept very still as she brushed her hand over a long scar that ran across it. It was a whip mark, and a sore subject for the both of us.

'Don't,' was all I said. _Don't feel guilty,_ was what I had wanted to say, but a sudden jolting memory of electric pain across my back and the searing heat pressing me into the floor stopped me from finishing. She drew her hand back and cast her eyes downwards. A frown tinted her brow. If she saw the scars on my chest and back, she would probably hate herself all over again. It had been hard enough to coax her out of her internal nightmare the first time, when her brother had practically forced her to torture me. The last thing either of us wanted was THAT resurfacing.

 _Quick, change the goddamn subject._

'So, the new cadets are coming today?' I blurted.

She nodded. 'Yeah, there are only ten of them apparently.'

'I'm not surprised…' I grumbled. 'You teaching them today?'

'Yup. The cadets are difficult actually, they have to ignore their cadet training and learn an entirely different way of using ODM.'

The silence fell about us again, the tension rose. God I hate awkward silences.

She lifted her arm and scraped her hair up with her hand. She already had her hairband around her fingertips, and deftly slipped it over her hair, twisting it to tighten it. She claimed not to miss her arm that much, only the expeditions, but I saw her get frustrated with it quite a lot. She denied it, insisting she could manage, but it was clearly a difficulty for her.

'Eren, training,' I raised my head and spoke sharply to the boy. He cut off mid-sentence and saluted.

'Yes sir!' Jumping up, he swiftly left, with Armin scuttling out of the room after him. I stood up myself, rolling my shirt sleeves up to my elbows.

 **NOVALIE**

His shirt was thin, and his muscle definition stood out underneath it.

Wait what? What is so remarkable about that? He is a human being, same as everyone else.

I was relieved when he left, since the tension and the scar disappeared with him, but at the same time, I couldn't bear to look at his empty seat.

 _Why am I being so clingy? Get a grip._

'That is good Christine,' I called to the new cadet. She was tall and blonde, with a sharp face and a somewhat serious, determined expression. She was pretty fearless, which was good since fear was the one thing that really held people back with my ODM training. There have been several times when I have dived so low I almost hit the ground and broke my neck.

 _'You are CRAZY!'_ Jean, one of the 104th, had told me. He was kind - others called me a show-off. Joke's on them though, because now they have to learn it too.

'Ferris,' I said to one of the other boys. He landed in front of me, his cheeks red with effort.

'Yeah?'

'You keep pressing on your gas randomly.'

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, I just…' He fidgeted. He was a young, gentle lad.

'You are scared?' I prompted.

His face went even redder. I continued to stare at him blankly. 'Fear is good, it means you are sensible. This method was developed by a suicidal person, so Erwin is mad to employ me to teach it to you all. Even so, if you get it right, you will be safe. Keep going; your courage will build.' He blinked at me gormlessly, and then stuttered something in agreement and shot back into the air.

I looked at my pocket-watch. 'Lesson over,' I called to them, and nine out of ten of them landed gracefully, the other one was a clumsy, neurotic mess. They all thanked me and wandered back to the castle, chatting animatedly to one another.

My eyes drooped. I usually had the afternoon off, and used that time to sleep before it got dark. I traipsed back up to my room, almost going to use my right arm to open the door and then realising it wasn't going to respond. I still did that sometimes, even after all this time. Falling onto my bed, my thoughts drifted to Levi, and I felt the urge to go and find him.

Leave the guy alone, you will get on his nerves. I knew from how wide my eyes were and how busy my mind was that there would be no chance of me sleeping, and so I jumped up and paced. I had barely any books any more. Erwin had lent me a couple the day before yesterday, but I had already read all three twice over. I wasn't _bored_ as such, just agitated.

'Hello Novalie.'

The voice was clear, and came from behind me. I turned very slowly, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling.

No. Not that voice.

That's. Not. Possible.


	2. Chapter 2 - Sight is Deceiving

**Hai! So thank you very very much for the feedback, and I agree, chapter one went dooooowwwnnhhillll. (IT SUCKED). XD**

 **So after pacing, banging my head against the wall, and trying to get a solution to fall out, I think I have a much better idea of what I am doing. :D So, I have re-written the first chapter, and here is the second. Also, I now have a sub-plot fulla drama (yay), because I NEED A SUB-PLOT.**

Elias flashed his smile, staring back at me with our identical eyes. I was frozen to the spot. This CANNOT be real.

'You didn't stab me enough times,' he said quietly. I trained my eyes on his shoes, my heart skipping a beat for every step forwards he took. Chuckling, he reached into his pocket. His hand opened; a piece of white fabric fell heavily to the ground. It was crumpled, soaked red with what could only be blood.

'You know what that is, don't you? I keep my promises Novalie.'

I shook my head hard and said very quietly, 'I don't know what that is…' My mouth was so dry I could barely open it.

His face dropped with disappointment. He was so close to me by now.

'It's a cravat.'

The room lurched around me. I pressed my feet into the ground to try and keep myself upright. 'You can't be… Alive… I am dreaming…'

'This is no dream. It is too real, isn't it?' I staggered against my desk chair, which dug into my back sharply like a jolt to tell me _"this is reality"_.

It _was_ too real. I was not dreaming. My senses were alive, and I didn't know how to react.

'Stop…' I implored.

'Stop what?' Elias dug his hands into his pockets casually.

'STOP! STOP IT!' My hand closed around my ink pen, and I lurched forwards, thrusting it at his face. It was a stupid move, he could easily stop me – but I wasn't thinking. I flinched instinctively, but he did not block me or hit me. Instead, I kept falling forwards, and my eyes shot open as I caught myself.

There was no one in the room.

Where the hell did he go?! The cravat was gone too. The pen slipping from my hand and my heart thrashing in my chest, I only had one thought on my mind. Wrenching thr door open, I flew into the corridor. I had to skid to a halt sharpish though, because I almost ran into someone. Oh, it's Levi! He backed up in surprise. Relief hit me like a wave, and I yelped, throwing my arm around him.

He stiffened. 'What the hell's wrong with you?'

I almost smiled at that. _Such a Levi thing to say_. I released him.

'I don't know… I don't even know what is real anymore.'

His frown deepened. 'Why?'

'I just saw Elias…' It sounded even more ridiculous out loud.

'No you didn't; he is dead. I sat by his dead body for about fifteen minutes,' Levi assured me. 'No one can keep their eyes open that long.'

'I know… I am going mad…' I sighed and dug my fingers into my hair. Ever since seeing Elias, I had become more and more dizzy. I felt out of control of my body.

'Your speech is slurred,' Levi told me bluntly. 'What have you been doing?'

I frowned and shook my head. 'Nothing…' I swayed, catching myself.

'You look drunk.'

'I don't drink…'

He grabbed my wrist and steered me back into my room. I stumbled after him helpessly. My eyes drooped – I could barely stand up.

'Go to sleep. I don't know what the fuck happened to you, but you aren't leaving this room like this.'

I barely had a choice, he just took me by the shoulders and shoved me onto my bed. Glancing past his shoulder, I saw a woman in the doorway.

'Need any help with her Captain?' She asked. My vision was too blurry to make out her face… But… Do I recognise that voice?

Levi swivelled around. 'Get someone from the infirmary.'

'No need,' she strode into my room, titling her head at me. 'I know what's wrong with her.' I could hear the smugness in her voice.

'Spit it out then.'

'She's high on Hajuli.'

'What the fuck is that?'

'Hajuli? It's the new drug around here. Haven't you heard of it?'

I tried to protest. 'I doshe tak dlugs.' Well, if they understood that, it would be a miracle.

'This woman, high? Tch.' Levi's voice dipped underwater. I could hear water in my ears… Wait, I can _feel_ water. I am underwater! How the hell did I get underwater? _I need to breathe… I need to find the surface…_

 **LEVI**

Novalie started panicking, reaching around as if she was looking for something. My chest tightened. What on earth happened to her? I grabbed her hand and pushed it back down, growling at her to keep still. She wasn't listening, and wriggled away from me. The girl that had come in opened her bedside draw. She pulled something out and opened her hand.

'See? Told you.' In her hand were three white pills, all about diameter of a grain of rice.

'They could be anything,' I argued.

She chuckled. 'Why don't we ask Squad Leader Hanji to test them?'

I shrugged. 'Go ahead. But if they are these… Whatever you call them… What are they going to do to her?'

'Make her sleepy, hallucinate, etc, and then she will propbably get addicted to them if she isn't already. They are illegal, you know?' She folded her arms almost triumphantly. 'I have every right to report her for this.'

I scowled, and her face lost its smugness slightly. 'Just get them tested,' I snapped. She wordlessly left. Novalie was curled up, covering her eyes. I sat beside her.

'Novalie?'

For the few seconds that I got no response, I thought she couldn't hear me in whatever spaced out state she was in, but then her hazel eyes appeared from under her hand.

'Did you take something?'

She shook her head, then gasped and clutched it. I frowned deeply. I didn't want to believe that she had… In fact, no, I have seen more than by fair share of drugees in the underground, there are always signs. She had none of them. Unless she only just…

No. Not Novalie. It is all bullshit.

'Le… Hi?' She mumbled. She was even struggling with my two syllable name.

'What?'

'I don… 'ike it…'

'I'm not surprised.'

She screamed suddenly, trying to scramble backwards into the wall, but her motor skills were in shambles. I looked over my shoulder to where she was staring in utter horror.

Of course, there was nothing there. I leaned over and covered her eyes with my hand. To see her in this much stress, it was disturbing. I didn't like it any more than she did. She calmed a bit then.

'I wanna… gerrup…'

'You really think that is going to happen?' I scoffed.

'I'll… Tie…'

'Tie?'

'T…T-R-Y.'

I sighed and stood, putting out my hands to help her up. As soon as my hand was gone from her face though, she yelped.

'No…No… Don… wanna s- see…'

I hastily blinded her again. She felt around. I took her arm and pulled her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Her breathing was very raspy.

'Nema mind… I can't… Stand.'

'Really?' I said sarcastically. 'Go to sleep.'

'Can't…'

'Stop arguing already.'

She huffed, swaying a little. 'Pease… Don… Lemme see…' She motioned floppily to her face. I knew what she meant, and she groaned, falling against me.

 **NOVALIE**

It hit me then. A wash of calmness. I could feel myself slipping onto Levi, and his arms stopping me from falling further...

There is a thudding sound… What is that?

Oh, it's his heartbeat… Well, at least he is alive, right? Wait, what if he ISN'T alive? What if that is a hallucination? What if Levi HIMSELF is a hallucination?

What if every thought going through my head right now is utter bullshit? That is likely…

That lady said I took drugs – did I? I don't remember that. Would I do that? I don't even know anymore.

 _You don't care about that…_ A small voice inside me said. I listened to it unquestioningly. _You just want to sleep, don't you?_

Yeah… I do…

 _There is nothing to worry about… You are happy…_

Am I?

Probably.

I don't care anymore…


	3. Chapter 3 - Rumour Has It

**Well, I'm back here again. XD**

 **I am having trouble getting this one going, I am well outta my comfort zone and I am not in an inspired mood at the moment. That's why I'm so damn late to update. Still, here is something, and I am formulating the plot as we speak.**

 **ENJOY PPL.**

 **LEVI**

My eyes sprung open. I blinked, trying to recall how I had ended up falling asleep in the first place. I had been sitting next to Novalie on her bed, and she was high. _She was high._

…And then she had fallen asleep on me, and I disliked the idea of her waking up so much that I just fell backwards and let her stay there. I had stared at the ceiling listening to her quiet breathing until I found myself slipping. Why was it so damn easy to fall asleep with her there? It was like a viel of permanent stress was just let go like a balloon into the air whenever she was around. Eventually, I had just plain given in and closed my eyes.

I was uncomfortable, and Novalie was tucked under my arm, her head on my shoulder. She was still out of it. Kicking my boots off, I drew one knee up and raked a hand through my hair. I was pinned under her and, glancing at her peaceful face that made my stomach tighten, I couldn't bear the thought of waking her up. I just stared at her, drinking in her features. I couldn't find an imperfection if I tried. There was something about her face – about HER – that transfixed me.

Her hair framed her face, spread out behind her. Her eyes glittered hazel-

Her eyes are open.

Her pupils appeared to get a little larger when she met my gaze. I froze. Her piercing gaze was back – no longer dazed and delirious.

 **NOVALIE**

'Hello,' I said pathetically. How had I ended up HERE? If I was being honest with myself, I didn't want to move, but I forced myself upright and let Levi go from under me.

'How long was I out?' I frowned. I felt absolutely fine, but couldn't remember much. 'And why was I out?'

Levi sat up and stretched. He looked weary. 'About three hours, and you were drugged up to your eyeballs.'

'Drugged?' I stiffened, pausing in my tracks.

'Yeah… Someone found drugs in your draw…' Levi's look was ever-so-slightly accusatory, his eyebrows sliding into a frown. Wait, he hadn't been frowning until now. _That's new._

Details were slowly being drip-fed into my mind as I recalled fragments of seeing Elias and being dragged under the water and then seeing Grace being eaten again and some woman came in and…

My shoulders sagged. It was all so overwhelming. 'Did someone come in?'

'Yeah, a girl. She found the drugs.'

'What drugs Levi?!' I exclaimed, throwing my hand up. Even I was caught off-guard at my outburst. I hated the idea of being intoxicated – let alone them being in my possession. I don't even know what most drugs _look like_!

'I don't know, why don't you tell me?' Levi growled, his eyes going cold as he stood.

I started pacing, fidgeting, my eyes darting everywhere. I didn't like this one bit. I didn't like not knowing. 'I don't understand…'

'Shitty Glasses is testing the pills she found. Do you keep any in here?'

I yanked my desk draw open and pulled out a bottle of painkillers. 'This is all,' I assured him. He put his hand out and I handed it to him. Our fingers brushed, and a tingling electricity went through me.

A tense silence fell over us as he tipped a couple of pills into his hand. They were oblong, and yellow. 'Let's go and see Hanji,' I urged, raring to find out what this was all about. Without waiting for Levi, I marched out, my strides purposeful. I didn't even look back to see if Levi was following me – I was on a mission.

Knocking on her lab door, It was opened to steely eyes only slightly above my own eye-level. _How did he get here so fast?!_

He wordlessly stepped aside. Hanji was leaning against a counter, her goggles pushed up onto her forehead and making her hair stick up wildly.

'Hello Novalie,' she said cheerily. There was a gleam of curiosity in her eye as she looked me up and down.

'Do you have the results?'

'Yup!' She went cross-eyed as she peered at the test tube she was holding up to her face. It was filled with a cloudy, frothing liquid.

'It is tryoximobutaine,' she said, her manner more serious now.

'Speak English,' Levi snapped.

She put the test tube down. 'I am afraid it _is_ an illegal drug.' She looked as confused as I felt.

'This is bad…' I muttered to myself. I didn't want to look at Levi, and I didn't know why. I could almost _feel_ his composure slipping. Moments later, he grabbed my arm and steered me outside, kicking the lab door shut behind him.

'What the fuck is going on?' He implored. I dared meet his gaze – he was angry, but trying to hide it. And failing.

'I have no clue Levi.' My voice wavered. I wanted to cringe away – I hated it when he was angry with me.

'It was in your goddamn room!' I was already pressed into the wall and he slammed his hand on it by my ear, caging me.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. My heart throbbed a little harder. Surely I wasn't _scared_ of him?

'Do you trust me?' I murmured. He deadpanned.

'Obviously.' He seemed to realise how close we were, and straightened up, giving me some space.

'Then trust me when I say, _I did not own those._ '

He said nothing, but his face softened into what was almost regret. 'Yeah… I know you wouldn't…'

'But that woman that came in thinks I own them?'

'She threatened to report you.'

I sighed heavily. I could lose my JOB over this. Someone must have planted them on me… But _why?_ Who would do that?

'You think it's a frame job?' Levi asked, as if reading my mind.

'Mm,' I nodded.

'Ma'am?'

I snapped my attention to Ferris, who was waiting patiently for me to answer. I was so distracted by the whole drug ordeal that my focus was all over the place.

'Sorry Ferris, what was that?'

'I- I was wondering… If the rumours were true…' He looked partly embarrassed and partly curious. I didn't even need to ask what the rumours were.

'No, they aren't true,' I confirmed. His face fell a little.

'O- oh right…'

'Who did you find out from?'

The boy frowned and shrugged. 'I don't remember…'

The boy was right. People gave me shifty glances in the corridors, looking shocked that someone like me would be a "drugee". Even Eren came up to me in the communal room and decided to have his say.

'I can't believe you!' He yelled, throwing his hands up in fury. He was a little too close for comfort so I backed up. 'I can't believe I _respected_ you! I even did after what you did to the Captain!' His little rant was cut short when Levi put a hand on his shoulder and yanked him away from me. I was speechless – just trying to remain calm.

'Shut up Eren, and mind your own business,' he growled.

'H- How can you DEFEND her?!' Eren's green eyes flared with the outrage he was being put through.

Levi said stonily, 'I'm not. I'm telling you to mind your own business.'

'But she isn't being PUNISHED! Hey, _you_ trusted her too!'

'Jaeger, cut the attitude,' he raised his voice. Eren shot me an icy look and Mikasa pulled him away gently by the arm.

'Brat…' Levi snarled under his breath.

I said nothing. I couldn't think of anything to say.

I vowed to myself that I would solve this mystery. This strange situation _wasn't_ going to lose me my job, my home. The thought of having to leave sickened me. _I would be leaving Levi…_

As much as I hated to admit it, I needed him. I didn't plan on needing anyone… I used to see it as a hindrance… But I wanted to need him. I WANTED him. God, I sound possessive.

 **LEVI**

There was a tiny part of me that, right now, I hated. _Fuck off,_ I told it. It nagged at me that there was a possibility Novalie was lying to me. Then, to heighten its credibility, it brought up the "betrayl" from two years ago.

 _FUCK OFF!_

It was the tiniest thought in my head, but it drove me crazy.

I plunged my gaze into the gloom of my room. Moonlight illuminated the edges of my chair behind me. I leant back into it, the back and arms were curled inwards to take the shape of my back. I closed my eyes. I can't be bothered to move… Hopefully I will just fall asleep…

It was dark… Really dark… Damp clung to my skin. As I sat up, I felt weight around my wrists. My lips parted in horror and I realised I was shackled.

How the f-

There was a shadow over me. Looking up, I felt awash with relief. Novalie's here… It's OK…

The longer I stared at her, the more unnerved I got. She just pierced me with her stare, trying to grind me into the floor with her eyes alone.

There is something wrong here.

She raised her arm – the first movement she had made yet – a whip was coiled around her hand and caressed the floor.

There was nothing but emptiness in her eyes. I shrunk back instinctively. The fight instinct that had been drummed into me all my life was missing. She had that blank expression on… The one I met at the gate four years ago.

As she moved her arm up, the whip lifted from the stone floor, and my breath hitched. It cracked down hard, and I could almost HEAR skin ripping.

I felt no pain.

The whip dropped to the ground. Across Novalie's neck was a bright red streak, and way more blood was pouring out of it than should have. She fell like a rag doll. Struggling to reach her against my shackles, I shook her. I started shouting. I couldn't hear what I was saying to her, but I knew they were the kind of words you only admitted to someone when they were dying. She stared at me in her completely empty way, as if the warm blood coating my hands and pooling in the crook of her neck didn't bother her one bit. My face was wet. She blinked and said nothing. She blinked again.

Then she stopped blinking, but her expression did not change.


	4. Chapter 4 - Twenty-Four Seven

**Ick, sorry this took so long. I will try to get myself sorted. For those who don't know, update day is *SUPPOSED TO BE* Thursday.**

 **So far I am failing XD**

 **LEVI**

I took such a massive gulp of air, it felt like I had used all the oxygen in the room in one breath. My knuckles were white, closed over the arms of the chair. As my eyes darted around, I let out a strangled cry of relief and sagged back.

I found myself wishing she was here, in the room. Here to blatantly tell me it wasn't real as if that would make me feel better – but heck, it would.

Because it's her saying it.

I could go and find her… No, just calm down. You don't need to go running to her.

 _You don't NEED to…._

 _But you want to._

I jumped up and marched into the empty corridor, striding the short distance down the hall to her room. My conscious jumped at my fist to pull it back, but it was too late, I had already knocked.

 _Dammit Levi._

The door opened and her eyes met mine.

 _Screw the sky and all its stars, that's ugly compared to what I am looking at._

Wait, what?

'What's wrong?' She stepped aside immediately, her gaze filled with concern.

It dawned on me then that, of course, she would know something was up.

'Stupid question,' she waved it away before I could answer as I stepped inside. Kicking the door shut, she stopped dead when she realised I was staring at her.

At her NECK.

I had never been so grateful for her neck before.

Her hand went to it, probably subconsciously. 'Levi?'

'It's fine,' I blurted.

She shook her head. She knew I knew she hated it when I said that.

Stepping closer, she put her hand on her hip. 'I'll repeat the question, shall I?'

'What, my name, or the stupid one?' I was being difficult.

'The stupid one,' she replied placidly.

'Don't bother when you know the answer.'

'Levi…' She half-closed her eyes. 'Why are you here right now?'

Her tone was soft, she was getting me to ask myself that question, rather than her demanding what I was doing irritating her in the middle of the night.

'…I don't know…' I had her full attention now. 'I just ended up here.'

I could almost see cogs whizzing around in her brain. 'Yeah, I get what you mean...'

Glancing around, I could see dust motes whizzing around in the candlelight. Her room was lit eerily, the warmth of the flames making her eyes shine.

'You haven't dusted.'

'No, I haven't got around to it.'

'Haven't got around to it? What have you been doing all this time?'

 **NOVALIE**

I needed to get him out of this mood. He was confused and shaken up, and now he was just being obnoxious. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the door. I could feel it startled him, but he followed. Traipsing down the corridor, I let go of him to open his room door, and hastily lit a candle. I steered him towards his chair.

He stopped and refused to go any further.

'Levi, you are exhausted,' I protested.

'What, and go to sleep just to see you die again?' He growled.

'Not if I can help it.'

'Yeah? Well you can't help it.'

'You are going to go to sleep and I am going to stay right here.'

He thought about it for a second, then sighed and sat down. I sat on the floor cross-legged, and leant against the chair leg. I was there, just thinking, in silence, for what must have been about an hour, before I glanced up at Levi.

 _Bring it on Ackerman – you are asleep already._

'The party is in two weeks!'

'Oh my lord I can't WAIT!'

'We are actually having some fun for once!'

The Scouts were alive with excitement at the prospect of having a party. There had been a few in the time I had been here, I mean, everyone needs to unwind from time to time, although I had never attended. This time was different though. I was going along, because where there is a party there are drugs, and I had a mystery to solve.

I had also been called to see Erwin. I guess she did report me.

I rapped on the door, my heart in my throat. Was I about to lose everything I had?

'Enter.'

I turned the handle and slipped inside, shutting the door behind me more carefully than I needed to.

'Hello Novalie,' Erwin nodded, motioning to the chair opposite where he was sat at his desk. 'Please, take a seat.'

I obeyed.

'So, I gather you know what we are here to talk about?'

'Yes sir,' I said quietly, my hand curling into a fist in my lap. I could feel burning in the pit of my stomach, like my stomach acid was burning right through me.

'We have two witnesses that can attest to your possession of the drugs.'

'Is that proof enough?' I asked in horror. He must have detected my dismay, because his face softened a little.

'No Novalie, not in my opinion. Someone could well have framed you, and I am not going to lose a soldier over this without thorough investigation. However, I must, of course, take some kind of measures in the meantime for the higher-ups.'

'Right…' I was willing to take whatever punishment he wanted to give me, so long as he wasn't kicking me out.

'You will have to be under twenty-four hour surveillance.'

I take that statement back.

'By your Captain.'

And I take it back again.

'By Levi?' I was open-mouthed. Surely Levi would be deemed to have a bias.

'The higher-ups don't know, do they? In fact, Captain Levi would be perfect, since he has reason to dislike you according to them.' Erwin had a twinkle in his eye. This man appeared so regimented, but really, he lived by his own justice.

'Reason to dislike me...?' I raised an eyebrow. As Erwin opened his mouth, I got it. 'Oh course, Elias.'

It still stung to say his name. He was ever in my nightmares with his crazy laugh and crooked smile.

I saluted to the Commander with my remaining arm and thanked him.

Poor Levi, he is going to be stuck with me twenty-four seven.

 **LEVI**

I was surprised at my own reaction. Why did this make me _happy_? I mean, sure, we were close, but the idea of being stuck with someone all the time would usually horrify me. Then again, Novalie is always the exception to the rule, isn't she?

My hand reached for a thin, rough mark of white on my collarbone. I traced my finger over it. It was a constant reminder of Novalie's pain. I think she was tortured more than I was in that cell.

Novalie's face appeared at my shoulder in the mirror and I quickly dropped my hand.

'I'm going to try and sleep at night,' she told me. We stared at each other through the mirror.

'I'll leave a light on.' I turned to face her. 'What about your teaching?'

'I have to set them theory work on the days you aren't available to supervise...' She sighed apologetically.

I said nothing. I wasn't complaining.

I mentally jolted, realising I had been leaning closer and closer to her. My heart leapt. Woah, what am I _doing?_ She hadn't moved away, she just gave me an expression of slight surprise. Our noses were only inches apart, and I could see her pulse throb on her neck. Blood rushed to my cheeks. _Goddamn it Levi, get a grip._

She cleared her throat as awkwardness grew between us and marched over to my desk. She gathered up some papers of hers that were piled perfectly, and adjusted them, straightening a parallel pen. Something clicked back into place then, and I blinked, regaining my composure.

'It's getting late,' she announced.

That night I just lay on top of my bed, and Novalie sat against the wall, candle by her side, unable to sleep at all. She clung to the candle's light. Part of me wanted to go over to her and tell her it was all fine, that nothing was going to hurt her, that I was here – but I couldn't possibly do that. I couldn't get the words out right if I tried.

So I stared at her in the darkness.


	5. Chapter 5 - Stressed

**Oh lordy, I haven't updated in ages...**

 **I guess the novelty has worn off for me now and I am realising this is really hard. Still, I hope I can keep writing this and re-find my enjoyment in doing so. Please continue to give me feedback, it really helps!**

I could hear the music from the other end of the hall. People were singing on the tables in a rowdy chant, the sound bounded off the stone walls and hit my ears as I opened the door to the mess hall. It was chaos. The vast space was crawling with scouts of various levels of dignity. Some were avidly chatting at the tables, gesturing in animation to their friends. They looked harmless enough. There were the wallflowers, who honestly looked like they'd rather be anywhere else, and then there were those that were already staggering and shouting.

'Oh great,' Levi grumbled. He was right next to me, and was scowling at Hanji, who was talking at a million miles an hour about titans to some poor young man who couldn't get away. I recognised the boy as Ferris – a fairly new scout.

'Poor kid,' I said in sympathy as we wove our way through the crowd. People actively stopped their conversations to stare at me as I passed. It made me uncomfortable. For once, I cared that they thought I was some kind of low-life, I didn't want that label on me. As we scoured the party, Levi nudged me.

'Oi, look.' He pointed to a group in the corner. They kept looking over their shoulders as if they didn't want to be seen.

'I'll check it out,' I muttered.

Levi cocked his head to one side, motioning that he couldn't hear me over the sound of Hanji's cackling laughter. Scary thing was, she was sober.

'I'll go and see,' I leant into his ear. I could feel the warmth radiating off his neck, which made my skin tingle. He nodded and I broke away, diving through the group of people. I tried to look casual, but as soon as I got close to the group, they slunk off through the back. I jogged to the door they disappeared through and stuck my boot in the way to stop it from closing. They were less huddled up out here, since no one else was around. With my back pressed against the wall, I strained to listen in.

'…Ten quid?! Are you kidding me? That's a rip off,' one of them whined.

'This stuff is class 3, mate. The high lasts ages.'

'Oh don't listen to him, it's not worth your money,' a girl piped up.

'Saikei, for god's sake! This is my business!'

'You conniving bastard.' The girl laughed.

'Anyway, you want it or not?'

They were definitely dealing, but I didn't know what drugs they were dealing exactly. It might not be… Whatever I took. I was extremely naïve when it came to drugs, I couldn't even name any if I tried.

A couple of minutes later, they went quiet. Peering through the crack in the door, I could see them all lounging around, some smoking, some slumped against the wall, giggling and staring around in a daze.

 **LEVI**

I already had a headache from Hanji alone, and thought I'd do my duty to protect humanity and shut her up.

'Oi Four-Eyes.'

'Yes Levi?'

'Fight me.'

She deadpanned. 'Err… What?'

I dumped a tankard in front of her. 'First one to stumble loses.'

Her mouth hung open. 'Well, I can't possibly turn down such a challenge, can I?' A fair few scouts were crowded around us in excitement. Someone ran off to get us a load of beer. Hanji gave me her best competitive grin, and I gave her my best "fuck you" scowl in return.

'3, 2, 1, GO!' Someone yelled. I lazily started downing my first tankard-full, repeatedly scanning the crowd for Novalie. She was hard to spot, considering she was so small.

We stood at either ends of a table, the crowd around us getting thicker. People began to chant. I stood on my toes and craned my neck, spotting Novalie with her ear against a door at the back of the room.

Hanji laughed lopsidedly and staggered backwards.

'I win,' I said boredly.

'You are still sober Captain?' Eren gasped.

'I have a high tolerance.'

'Oopsie,' I said sarcastically. 'You are drunk, wouldn't want you to cause trouble, now would we?'

At last I had an excuse to whack her around the head and knock her out.

I glanced back at Novalie. The door was swinging open – and she was gone. Immediately, I shoved my way through the throng of scouts and slipped after her. She was nowhere to be seen.

 **NOVALIE**

They had seen me and run for it, and I had kicked the door open and immediately given chase. They darted around the side of the castle, and I skidded after them, almost falling on the gravel as my boots shoved it to one side. I felt like I was clawing my way through the air, I was so desperate to get to them. _I. WILL NOT. LET YOU. TAKE MY HOME FROM ME._ My heart leapt as I lost sight of them. My head darted back and forth, I couldn't let them get away! This might be my only chance to find out who did this to me. Like a hunter, I caught a flash of movement in the distance, and burst into a sprint again. My heart was pounding so hard that it hurt. As I turned another corner, I was yanked backwards. Strong hands shoved me into the wall, knocking the breath from my lungs.

'You, what the hell do you think you are doing?!' It was one of the people I was chasing. I struggled under his grip, but of course, I couldn't do much.

A girl came around the corner. 'You want some? Is that what this is?'

If there was anything I had learnt from my time with Elias, it was that the truth wasn't always the smartest option.

'What have you got?' I replied, still breathless. She narrowed her eyes at me, unfurling her palm.

 _It's the same ones!_ 'Haluji right?'

The man pinning me against the wall scoffed. 'Obviously.'

'Wait,' the girl shoved the pills back into her jacket pocket and took a step back. 'You are Levi's chick, aren't you? Always sucking up to the Captain.'

My fists clenched. _How dare you._ 'No, I am not,' I protested. Our eyes boring into each other as if trying to kill each other with our gazes alone, we simply glared at one another until she threw her hands up.

'Listen you, if you tell anyone, we will personally make your life hell. You got that?'

I nodded.

'And we aren't selling to the Captain's girlfriend, end of story.' She flounced off, calling to the other man, who let me go and drifted after her.

Captain's girlfriend? I'm not… We're just…

Whatever, it's not like it matters.

As they stalked off, I wracked my brains for a plan b. I had not seen either of them before, and I couldn't prove that these are the people that planted them on me. For all I know, they might not even be the ones I am looking for.

 _Dead end._

Peering around the corner, I watched their retreating backs and considered _stalking_ them. Oh, the lengths I was willing to go to-

The hair on the back of my neck prickled. A shadow was cast over me, and I had the overwhelming feeling that someone was _right behind me._ Swivelling, I realised it was Levi, and – woah – he was so close to me. Why does he always stand that close? I felt my face get hotter.

'You find them?' He murmured.

'Um…' My brain had snatched my capacity to speak right from me, and was laughing in my face. My gaze drifted to Levi's neck, and stayed there, since I couldn't look him in the eye. He was so close… _Not close enough…_

'Novalie?' His hand waved in front of my face. Blinking, I finally found myself some words.

'I found some people with the drug, I don't know if they had anything to do with me though… And they know we are…'

 **LEVI**

'…Close.'

Close. We were. Right now. I was completely disregarding the notion of "personal space" right now… But I couldn't bring myself to step away. My body was tingling, as it usually did around Novalie. It's like she emitted some kind of strange aura.

The jaunty piano from inside was louder than it should have been. The breeze felt warmer, the air felt thicker… Everything was louder, brighter, clearer.

'What now then?' I said.

'Well,' she shifted on her feet, tucking her hair behind her ear. 'I am at a dead end really. I don't even know how to prove this in the first place… I am going to end up losing my job… aren't I?'

What the hell do I say to that?

'You'll figure it out.' I stood back a little and folded my arms. _That's not helpful Levi._ 'Anyway, I'm tired of all these idiots running around with their alcohol.' I turned on my heel and marched back to the door, glancing behind me momentarily. Novalie was a few paces behind me, her shoulders hunched, her arm crossed over her chest.

I swear to god, if she ends up getting fired…

I don't even want to think about it.


	6. Chapter 6 - Not Alone

**Weellll, since I haven't uploaded in about two or three weeks, you can have this chapter as well. Aaaand it is 3:30 am and I have work today... I'M GONNA DIE XD**

I lay, sweltering in the summer heat, on the top of my bed, watching Novalie, who was sat in my chair, her hair falling around her face. She was outlined golden in the candlelight. I had never seen beauty in humans until now. To be honest, I don't think I ever saw beauty in anything. I remember being constantly irritated by her when I first met her, probably because it frustrated me that I couldn't work out what it was about her that drew me to her.

To this day, I still don't know.

She was writing rapidly, trying to make sense of all the drama around her. She was _actually stressed._ Her tranquil nature had gone straight out of the window. When we got in, she was raking her hand through her hair and pacing.

'What have I done wrong Levi?' She had said, her eyes pleading. 'I try to live peacefully, but all this trouble finds me!'

So I sat her at my desk and told her to write it all down. That's how you make a plan without it whirling around your head. And just like that, she had set to work. An hour later she was still there in the darkness. I momentarily closed my eyes, when I heard paper rip. She was ripping it all into tiny pieces. Then she crushed it in her hands and sighed, her posture deflating. She had her head in her hands.

I jumped up, putting my hand out, then pulling it back. Hold your fucking horses Levi. Edging up to her, I tapped her on the shoulder. She lifted her head.

'You made a mess of my desk.'

'Sorry…' She swept it up in her hands and let It flutter into the wastepaper. Leaning back in the chair, she sighed again.

'Are you seriously going to give up?' I grabbed her by the shoulders. She started. 'Am I going to have to beat the crap out of every single druggy here until I find the right one, or are you going to get off your ass?'

'Get off my ass?' Her tone was defensive. 'I have been sat here for an _hour_ Levi. An hour!'

'Well sit for another fucking hour if you have to then!' I slammed another piece of paper in front of her. She glared at me. 'Either that, or go to sleep and stop driving me crazy.'

'What do you mean "driving me crazy"?' Her knuckles whitened. 'I am sorry you don't like me here twenty-four seven, but in case you haven't noticed, WE HAVE NO CHOICE!' We both fell silent at that. That wasn't what I had meant at all. I backed up a bit.

'I am stressed out Levi…'

'You think I can't see that?'

'Obviously not!'

'I'm not _blind!_ '

'Then would you…' She trailed off and pinched the bridge of her nose. 'What am I even saying? You are just being Levi. This is what you are always like, I don't know why I am getting so angry about it…' She turned away from me and picked up the pen again.

My own words tumbled around my brain. _You dickhead Levi._

I put my hand over hers to stop her in her tracks. She twitched, but didn't pull away.

'…Sorry. Stop it now, you need to rest.'

'I can't sleep,' she snapped.

'Try.'

After a moment of staring at the table in front of her, she got up and kicked her boots off. As she undid her harness and discarded her jacket, I fell back onto my own bed. She was camped right next to me on the floor. Of all the space in this room, that is where she had chosen to be. She curled on top of the blankets, staring into space. I drooped my hand over the side of my bed lazily, letting it brush the floor. Closing my eyes, I felt her fingers thread through mine.

 **NOVALIE**

His fingers folded around my hand, and stayed that way for the next few hours. It was so frustrating, neither of us could sleep, yet all we could do was lay in silence. The situation, as well as the discomfort of laying on the floor, kind of reminded me of the Underground. Oh how I had wanted to dive in next to Levi when we were both shivering, or when he was drenched in the sweat of a nightmare. My hip bone was digging into the floor and I needed to fidget, but I didn't dare move. I didn't want to let go of Levi's hand.

Stupidly, I had forgotten about the candle. It started flickering wildly, and before I could do anything about it, plunged us into darkness. My eyes widened. _I can't see… I can't see a thing._ There was nothing, just blank space. Lost in the dark again. _My ultimate weakness._

Unknowingly, my grip tightened.

'I'll re-light it,' Levi said calmly. He slipped away from me. Feeling both incredibly vulnerable and stupid, like a dependant child, I stood up. My head began to whirl, the stress and fear and hopelessness that was already in my brain adding to the rising panic in my chest. My windpipe tightened. Oh shit, I can't breathe. I CAN'T BREATHE! _I am actually going to suffocate, right here, right now. I am going to die… It's going to kill me!_

'Where the hell are they…' Levi grumbled, fumbling around. His voice wavered. I stuck my hands out and stumbled forwards.

 _Can't see… Mamma I can't see…_

 _'Just a girl… In the darkness… You know what happens in the darkness… Don't you?' Hands on my shoulders. 'Bad things…' A whisper of stale breath. 'You don't know where they are, but they know where you are…' That laugh, low and choked. Fingers curling around my clothing and dragging me backwards… Flailing in the abyss… Being held down, sharp blows coming from unknown places…_

 _I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T RUN! WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!_

I crashed straight into something warm and moving, and immediately arms ensnared me. I realised from the wetness of my face that I was sobbing.

'I can't find the matches,' Levi said apologetically.

I curled into him. _It's OK… Nothing can touch me when I am with Levi… I am not alone._

'Why am I… So scared…' My own voice was hoarse, and I gulped repeatedly.

'I don't know, but you don't need to be.'

'N- No… But I am…'

'Close your eyes.'

'W- why?'

'Just do it.'

I obeyed. I could almost trick myself into thinking it wasn't pitch black out there, beyond the safety of my eyelids… My chest stopped heaving, and I went still.

 **LEVI**

Her breath curled around my collarbone. It made me go weak at the knees. Jesus Novalie, what have you done to me? I was very consciously aware that our noses would touch only at the slight turn of my head. Her lips were only inches away from mine. All I would have to do-

Levi, you are spacing out thinking about pointless things. Task at hand maybe? As in, _what the hell do I do now?_ She was clinging to me for dear life and I was clinging to her in hope that she would be calmer if I stayed here. I couldn't find the matches – I might even have run out – there was only one option: try and keep her calm. I started moving, and she stumbled a little, already off-balance. I sat her down on the edge of the bed.

'You still got your eyes closed?'

'Yeah…'

'Just… I don't know…' _Try to sleep? Like that is going to happen._ 'Calm the fuck down?'

She snorted.

'What's so funny?'

'You…' Silence.

'…Thank you Levi.'

'For what?'

'Putting up with me.'

'I don't "put up" with anything,' I argued.

'The Underground… It was always so dark, wasn't it?' She whispered, totally changing the subject.

'Yeah.'

'The people… It was like they turned into demons when they were in the shadows…'

'Weren't they always demons?' I muttered.

'True. At least you were feared down there, Levi.'

'I had to earn that, you know.'

'Kenny Ackerman was feared too,' she pointed out.

 _Where was she going with this?_ 'Your point is?'

'…Never mind.'

'Is that why you don't like the dark? Because of the Underground?' I wondered aloud.

'I guess that is where it started.'

'Where… Exactly?'

Silence. I was treading in deep water here.

'We got broken into... Ransacked… Loads… My family were terrible at defending themselves.'

My skin prickled. Breaking in and thieveing in the Underground was brutal. It wasn't a case of them simply breaking into your house and taking your belongings. It often involved raping, beating or sometimes killing the inhabitants, tying them up and demanding to know where they hid things, leaving them with absolutely nothing. Burgled families often ended up starving to death as a consequence. I felt sick just imagining that tiny little girl I once met going through something like that.

'Shit Novalie.'

'I know… That ever happen to you?'

'Once, but Kenny gutted them before they could take anything.'

'As I said…. Feared.'

'Yeah, point made. But no one is going to do that here,' I pointed out.

'I know…' Her voice was totally broken and weary. I could feel her trembling against me. She placed her hand on my chest and pushed me onto my back, curling up beside me.

'Novalie-'

'Shh.'

I shut my mouth.


End file.
